Have you ever done something only to be told you shouldn’t have? I have, and this time, The Big J says I’ve gone too far. You see I’m in party planning mode, my Rei Baby is almost one, and with under a month to go I’m getting a little frantic. So I sent a little email to the airport, and whilst I didn’t actually title it “stop the planes, I’m having a party” you get the idea…
If you don’t know, we live very close to the airport. Like SUPER CLOSE. When we first moved here, we didn’t quite realise the impact the airport’s close proximity would have on our living arrangements (you can read about it here), but you definitely notice your windows rattling as a plane flies in. As excited as I am for Rei’s party, I just keep thinking about how amazing it would be if the planes didn’t fly over our house for a few hours. When I couldn’t get the idea out of my head I figured there’s no harm in sending an email. Or is there?
I’ve spent many years teetering on the border of normalcy, hoping today won’t be the day I topple into crazy town. But for the most part I’ve got that in hand. So when The Big J said I’d gone too far “You can’t just email the airport asking them to redirect the planes for a day!”, I had to wonder if I’d left my sanity back in the birthing suite.
To the Staff and Management at Gold Coast AirportAlthough we haven’t met, we’re practically neighbours. Hi-Diddily-Ho! You see I live just down the runway on **** Street. Now I’ve got some very exciting news, in that next month, my baby girl is turning one. You know what that means? We’re having a party – woot woot!
I don’t know if you’ve had to organise a first birthday party for your firstborn child, but let me tell you, it is very exciting. You just want everything to be as perfect as your little angel. This quest for perfection might send a parent or two a little crazy, but at this point I’m still 29 days out from the event and have only had two sleepless nights. I know what you’re thinking “Wow this woman is not crazy at all. She’s really got her shit together”. Right?While many children seem to be fascinated by the low flying, loud sounding planes, I’ve noticed that babies aren’t too keen. In fact, it seems to make many little ones cry. Not mine though, after her terrifying first day here (in hindsight we probably should have spent more than ten minutes driving through **** before making the massive move from Mackay), she has grown quite accustomed to them. I’m told I should be thankful as now she’ll sleep through anything – so thank you for helping toughen the little princess up.I’ve also been told that, at the airport you alternate incoming and outgoing flights between the Northern and Southern ends. Having sat under a number of your low flying craft (really, you barely notice them after a while) I’ve come to the conclusion that this information is, in all likelihood, correct.Now I don’t know how it all works, but I’m wondering if you might consider one of the following on Saturday ** ****:
- Direct all flights to use the Southern end. It’s NSW and they’ll probably still be numb from their State of Origin loss on the 17th so won’t even notice;
- Direct incoming flights to use the Southern end whilst outgoing flights use the Northern end. Incoming flights are A LOT scarier, although my Nanna did think the outgoing flights were close. I was like “Pfft, you haven’t seen anything Nanna!”;
- Direct incoming flights to the Southern end between *** am and *** pm when our backyard is overflowing with precious babies, all ready to cry at the drop of a hat;
- If it’s easier and you need to free up some air space in the Southern end, you could send all choppers along our flight path. Hey, they can even hover over our backyard for that Hollywood Event, paparazzi vibe.When I mentioned this email to my husband, he said you’ll probably disregard all of the above and instead choose one of these options:
- Totally ignore this email;
- Send a polite response explaining regulations, rules, planning etc. All of which I will read in full and will not skip over any detail;
- Pass it from colleague to colleague laughing at the gall of this crazy woman. I mean, seriously, just who do I think I am?
- Delay all flights until *** am on the **, then send them one after the other, in quick succession, in and out of the Northern end.So what do you think? If it helps sweeten the deal, I can ask my husband if he’ll mow your lawn for the rest of the year. I wonder how long it takes to mow the airport? He probably won’t do it, but I’ll ask anyway. You see, I’m really trying to teach my daughter to be a strong woman – nothing ventured, nothing gained. Just like this email, right?