Er-mer-gahd, it’s finally happened. The 2015 season of My Kitchen Rules (come on, we all know it’s MKR) is here! I don’t know about you, but with all the crap that’s on TV these days, there aren’t many free-to-air shows that I look forward to. But for some weird little reason, I LOVE MKR! Don’t get me wrong, I don’t love the whole show, just the snarky, chaos of the adrenalin filled Instant Restaurants. In case you are totally insane and didn’t catch the 2015 season premier, don’t worry, because you can meet the 2015 MKR contestants right here.
Well not literally. Just a quick introduction.
Not sure how MKR works? Well there are 6 teams of two, plus the two pretty-boy judges, Pete & Manu, and they all go from house to house, critiquing the shit out of each others cooking. And if we’re lucky (or one of the contestants gets paid a bonus to drop a contentious line in the mix – come on, other than money what else could have enticed last season’s Chloe and Kelly to become Australia’s most hated Monster Villains?) there’ll be personality clashes, insults flung and a whole array of food, purposefully left uneaten, just to prove how poor tonight’s cooking really is.
Usually there are two rounds, with one team being eliminated from each round.
To break those numbers down in to cooking, each team has to prepare thirty-six (36!) meals at their instant restaurants. Twelve entrees, twelve mains and twelve deserts. And the meals can’t be too complicated because you’ll (undoubtedly) fail and be persecuted for attempting something beyond your capabilities. But don’t cook something too simple either, because the teams will pull you apart, whilst looking down their noses from atop their horses, with roars of “It’s just not a competition dish…”. Basically, it’s the Goldy Locks challenge – everything’s got to be just right.
Ek – why bother? That would have to be because they’re all competing for the grand prize of $250k. Pick me!
There’s been a lot of conjecture in the media as to whether or not cooking is even a requirement to be on the show, and this year is no different. According to Woman’s Day, this year the contestant’s cooking abilities are below standard. Like extra below. Like totally worrying the crew bad, bad. Luckily the show is actually about crafting and portraying extreme-polar personalities, all set in a competitive cooking environment, which provides a reason for these otherwise opposites to come together. Over and over again.
Now, it’s time to meet the 2015 MKR contestants. Finally.
JAC & SHAZ – QLD, MT ISA COUSINS
Bossy Shaz and follow-along Jac were the first team to cook in their outback community of Mt Isa. Started off well with their entrees, but by the time their Blue Cheese Surprise Desert was served, things had taken a turn for the worse. Scored 59/110.
KAT & ANDRE – WA, FEISTY FOODIES
The Kat and Andre show are the second team to cook (tonight), and Kat just wants to “beat Jac & Shaz”. This engaged couple are very enthusiastic about life, never a dull moment. I’m hoping for a whole plethora of un-dull moments in tonight’s episode.
ROBERT & LYNZEY – NSW, TEXAN DAD AND DAUGHTER
Ever the joker, Robert starts off by introducing everyone to his mother, Lynzey. He had me. I thought Lynzey was his wife and was surprised to hear they’re a horse riding, daddy-daughter team. It seems Robert is charming the pants off everyone just by talking in his texan drawl. And you thought people were watching MKR for the food…
ASH & CAMILLA – VIC, SOCIALITES
Apparently socialite Ash is stunned by the way the plebs are living. Ash doesn’t mind using her words to say what she thinks, but is also adept at expressing her thoughts through repeated head tosses, mouth agape, wide eyes, raised chin etc etc. In fact, Ash has probably got more expression in her little toe than most people do in their entire body. Camilla who?
GINA & ANNA – ACT, COMPETITIVE CANBERRANS
This supposedly ultra competitive mother-daughter team seem pretty un-impressed by everything. Except for Ash. Anna, who just might have a girl crush, couldn’t stop gushing about how confident and intimidating Ash is. I mean, did you see her hair, her eyes, her posture, the way she flicks her head and uses her voice? I mean, c’mon guys.
ANNIE & LLOYD – SA, HIGH SCHOOL SWEETHEARTS
Lloyd’s clearly here just to keep the eccentric, pink loving Annie happy. Lloyd is studying medicine, Annie works in fashion. Gina and Ash are having a difficult time trying to figure out how someone working in fashion, can dress like that. I loved Annie’s bright ensemble, matched with equally bright blush and matching hair. Annie likes to hold theme dinner parties. Like cludo and murder mysteries.
So that’s the teams. As for drama? Not much yet, but by the looks of tonight’s preview, Ash has got something up her sleeve (don’t let me down Channel 7).
Now for my favourite quote of the episode? That would have to be Ash, commenting on the lamb Jac and Shaz served as their main. Apparently it was a bit too tough for her delicate hands to slice:
I probably need hand surgery…
And as for the potatoes, Ash said:
The potatoes, yeah…
I’m secretly hoping that this years twist will be ALL INSTANT RESTAURANTS – yep, Instant Restaurants over and over and over… And over and over and over. May it never end!
Tune in to My Kitchen Rules, 7:30pm Sunday to Wednesday on Channel 7.