Don’t be a F*ck Stick


The very first words out of my mouth this morning were “you’re a f*ck stick mate!”.

And no I didn’t get out of the wrong side of bed, neither did The Big J do something so annoying to deserve this kind of ire. My day actually started happy and full of energy.

For the first time in ever, I got up early to go to the gym on a Saturday, to start my weekend off on a healthy note. So I snuck around the house, quiet as a mouse, so that I wouldn’t wake The Big J or Rei Baby. I quietly got dressed in the bathroom, gathered my things and headed for the garage.

It was here, as I was opening the gates that I uttered those words “you’re a f*ck stick mate!”. Not my usual kind of language (though a recent review of my driving language may suggest otherwise), but there they were, out of my mouth and hanging in the frigid air of a cold winter’s day.

What deserved this type of language? Our neighbours are frequent entertainers which as a whole doesn’t bother me. But what does bother me is when they & their guests try to squeeze all of their cars in to the small street space between our two drives. This morning that was three cars – one on the grass and two on the street. The only problem is there is only enough room for one car on the street. So where does the second car park? Yep, right across our driveway.

Okay, only half way across our driveway, but still not cool right? Although I was able to manoeuvre our car out, it’s still bloody annoying to wake up to first thing on a Saturday morning. And the thing is they could have gone a whole five metres further down the street and had room for two more cars. Ugh! I just don’t get why some people are so inconsiderate and lazy. Maybe they thought they’d be gone before we wanted to go out (they were gone by the time that I got home), but still…

So next time you’re parking your car, don’t try to squeeze it in where it really doesn’t belong. Do what I do and think of that little extra distance as compulsory exercise. Just whatever you do, DON’T BE A F*CK STICK!


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